A Secret to Happiness
by Jenni
Everyone wants to be happy.
In America, we are even guaranteed “the pursuit of happiness” as a sovereign right. And most of us are pretty darn good at pursuing what we think will make us happy. Everyone has their own way of going after what they want–some work hard; some cheat, steal, and lie; and others are simply lucky. And occassionally, after all that striving or manipulating or at the end of a rainbow, we actually find our pot of gold, the thing we’d set our heart on to finally make us happy. But at some point in life, everyone realizes the bitter truth in The Rolling Stones’ lyrics, “You can’t always get what you want.”
But there is a truth, deeper still, that surprises. To many, this truth is a terrible disappointment, an emptiness where fullness was needed. To a few, this truth comes as a welcome surprise, a gift of unexpected abundance.
What is that truth, this secret to happiness?
The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they make the best of everything.
Yup, that’s it. Go ahead and chew on that for a minute. Now, I wish I could say that I came up with this concept on my own, but it is actually a direct quote from the greatest philosopher of all time, the Greek poetess Hieronymous Anonymous. (In other words, noone seems to know who originated the concept and you could find 101 variations of it online. But I digress…)
Do you see how this truth could be a bitter pill for some and a sweet balm for others? If we fix our hope for happiness on getting, having, achieving, we will never reach it. Sure, we may be successful at those things, but we will quickly realize they didn’t bring the lasting joy we were longing for. However, if we open our eyes to see that everyday life is a radically extravagant gift and that the ordinary air, objects, work, people we’re surrounded by hold tremendous value, then, in that process we will surprise ourselves with happiness.
It has to do with contentment and delight, creativity and humor, gratitude and selflessness. Which one of these words most jumps out at you? Hold onto that one word for a moment…
Now, think of a challenging situation in your life right now, something that you’ve allowed to rob you of some happiness. What would it look like if you applied your word to “make the best” of that situation? It might surprise you and turn something loathsome into a beautiful thing.
My word for now is delight.
~Jenni
PS: A warning: don’t be the donkey or the ostrich. By donkey, I mean don’t act like a martyr, moping about pretending you’re sacrificially making the best of everything to get people’s sympathy. By ostrich, I mean don’t bury your head in the ground, pretending everything’s fine and ignoring a situation that you know needs to change. This secret to happiness is meant to empower you to live abundantly in the midst of “ordinary”, not to keep you from truly living.
Nicely written, a good way to start out a long day. Thanks for sharing.
Well said, Jenni! Enjoy your weekend!
Very wise and true words Jenni! Thank you.
I loved what you said about not being a donkey or an ostrich. I struggle with how to deal with people that fall into one of those roles… what would you suggest on how to best deal with a donkey or ostrich?
Thanks Jenni! so true! My word is selflessness….as much as I’d like to say I’ve “arrived” my daily struggles with parenting my three boys has given a new meaning to “selflessness”…phew…some days I wish it wasn’t quite so hard but I now realize that the most important part of me is the part that I give away 🙂 That makes me happy!
“I now realize that the most important part of me is the part that I give away.” Wow, that is profound truth, Chris. Thank you for sharing!
Jenni – I love reading your posts! This is another great one – thank you. Also to let you know that I’ve awarded your blog a ‘Liebster Blog Award’ (although I’m sure you have more than 200 followers and probably don’t need any extra exposure, I just wanted to share your blog with my readers). There is no obligation to take part – I just wanted to let you know.
Thank you, Cari-Jane. 🙂
I sure like this post. The words you mentioned really do make for a simplified and satisfying life: creativity, delight, humor, gratitude, selflessness, and contentment. A lot of the other things we often think will bring about happiness can end up burdening us more than anything else. Lovely blog.
I had a very similar conversation today with a good friend about happiness and what it is and what it isn’t. Trying to find happiness keeps you in constant search and that can be exhausting. My word was selflessness. When I can finally get beyond myself that’s when my true happiness appears. Wonderful blog.
Hi Kathy. Selflessness often feels like an illogical means to personal happiness, but you’re right! Thanks for chiming in!