No Shame in Stillness
by Jenni
Today I did something shocking, socially unacceptable and so counter-cultural, it’s downright rebellious: I was still. To be specific, I put my feet up on the porch rail, leaned back in a deep chair, and sat in the afternoon sunshine for a while, accomplishing absolutely nothing.
Not exactly the picture of a revolutionary, is it? I know, but if you look a bit deeper, you might recognize that one action as essentially giving the finger to a powerful and ruthless dictator: the dogma that my busyness reflects my value.
Does the idea of sitting quietly, alone with your thoughts for a while make you sigh wistfully or squirm uncomfortably? Probably a mixture of both.
In my experience as a modern woman, we simultaneously long for and fear the idea of stillness. We tend to pride ourselves on how much we accomplish in a day, and so stepping away from productivity is a risk, as though we must prove the worth of our existence by never slowing down to pause. And yet, we long for peace and rest, to step off the treadmill of life occasionally and catch our breath. And so we allow ourselves an occasional “indulgence” in a piece of Dove Chocolate or an extra creamy Yoplait yogurt because their advertising gurus convinced us that it’s okay, you deserve it. And we’ll take our annual vacation, hoping to cram in all the R&R we’ve denied ourselves all year. But even those “treats” are usually accompanied by guilt, shame, and pressure to “maximize” the time.
And there’s another reason we don’t have time for stillness: I believe we avoid it because we are afraid of what we would find there. If I slowed down enough to really listen (to my spirit, my body, my mind), I might not like what it tells me. Or if I sat down to listen for the voice of God and sit with Him in the vulnerability of who I really am, what might He say to me? And so it is safer to fill my schedule with more work, more Facebook time, more music, more accomplishments than to slow down and be still.
But what if we weren’t meant to “make the most” of every day? To fit in the most activities, run the fastest and most efficient household, grow our business as big as possible, get the best we can afford, and achieve our utmost potential in every realm? Maybe doing more, faster won’t actually get us where we want to be…or where we need to be.
I am coming to believe that, if we want to truly live life, creating space for stillness is crucial. In spite of–and because of–all the pressures on our time, we have a built-in need for periods of quiet, rest and reflection. Although this may seem like just one more thing to fit in, I believe that if we will find a way to make space for stillness and reflection, it will reshape our lives. Just as the human body needs to inhale and exhale, we need times of work and times of rest, times to act and times to reflect. There is no shame in that. Many cultures have retained this rhythm in life, but looking at myself and around at our society, we seem to have forgotten the value in rest and reflection, condemning them instead as laziness, self-indulgence or worthless “navel gazing”. And I think we’re suffering for it. We don’t know how to just be with ourselves. And how can we offer much to others and this world if we aren’t even connected to our own selves?
So what are some ways we can reclaim stillness and rest in the midst of real life this week? It will look differently for everyone, and remember that it’s not about “what you do” but opening the posture of your heart and mind. In the stillness, you may find your mind racing to process thoughts that you haven’t been able to give your attention to, and that’s fine. Or you might want to acknowledge what you’ve been feeling lately and just sit honestly in that. Don’t try to solve every problem or reach a great conclusion during this time. If you aren’t sure what to think about and you want to connect to God, I encourage you to meditate on a favorite song or scripture that brings you peace and to rest in the knowledge that you are a beloved child of God (even if you don’t feel that you are). Here are a few ideas I’ve been implementing lately, during my experiment in living more slowly:
- Sit or lie in a comfortable space for a while; even if you only have 5 or 15 minutes to spare, set a timer and enjoy simply being there.
- If you’re waiting in line at the bank, store, or on the phone, reclaim that time as an opportunity to be still in your heart.
- While at your job, work hard and focused for an extended period and then step away from your computer for a few minutes (such as 55 minutes on, 5 minutes off); studies have shown this actually increases productivity and decreases overuse injuries such as eye strain, back and neck pain, etc. If you can walk a lap around the building outside or go look out a window for a few minutes, you may find yourself rejuvenated and ready for the next big push.
- Eat sitting down at a table; turn off your technology and taste your food; be aware of it pleasing your taste buds and nourishing your body.
- Take a walk or jog outside and observe your surroundings; leave the iPod at home and listen; what do you see, smell, or feel?
- Leave your car radio off on your next drive; is the silence uncomfortable for you? That’s okay; don’t try to fill it.
- Do something the slow way; it’s far more convenient to buy bread from a store, but sometimes I like to take a few hours to bake a loaf of bread, kneading it by hand, letting it fill our house with its scent, and then eating it while still warm from the oven. Whether it’s baking bread, washing dishes by hand, or driving the scenic route, allow yourself to choose the slow way sometimes if it is more enjoyable and meditative for you.
- Spend time just being with your child or pet. Ponder the simple wonder of a little one, pet your dog or cat for a few minutes, take a nap with your child. If you don’t have a chld or pet at home, observe the birds outside your window. The little ones have much to teach us.
- Find healthy boundaries for “screen time”. I’ve found that if I’m still on my computer after 9pm, I go to bed later and grumpier than usual. So I try to shut down by 9 and spend the remainder of the evening in a more relaxing way. However that applies for you, pay attention to your patterns and find something that leaves you feeling more rested and centered.
- Observe Sabbath. Dedicating one day a week to step back from your work really flies in the face of our “non-stop” culture. Though we don’t do this every week, Seth and I try to accomplish our errands and household chores on Saturdays so that we can have a day of rest together on Sunday. It takes some coordinating, but has always felt like an incredible gift when we actually have a full day for rest and reflection.
I offer these up as ideas. But I’d love to hear from you:
What helps you to be still and what have you found to be the biggest challenges in creating that space for yourself?
Note: If this concept resonated with you, you might also enjoy my follow-up blog post with inspirational quotes and an ironic parody: More on Stillness.
Jenni,
I am thankful for this post today! Today I just did what you talked about. I was able to take a bath and just be still before the Lord. Today I believe He gave me the day off just to recharge and just be still before Him. Thank you for your words and encouragement to do this! =) Can’t wait to see your son that God has given you and Seth and see you grow as a family. Thank you for your words.
Kathleen, that is so cool that you took time to be still and recharge your batteries today! Thank you for your encouragement. 🙂
Great post Jenni, reminds me of what we talked about when I visited. I agree we need to slow down and not find all our value in how much we can accomplish.
Yes, I thought of our visit when I was writing this. One thing I’ve loved about being with people in Mexico is learning from them a new perspective on time and relationship priorities. I’m excited for you to be living down there the next couple years, Courtney! You’re going to become the sensei at this. 😉
Your blog makes me realize how much I consider what I accomplish in a day as my value. I think we sell ourselves short when we do that. YOu have brilliant ideas and I so appreciate you sharing your thoughts. You are wise beyond your years. I am going to read tonight insted of playing computer games. love you and thinking of you constantly as I await the baby great-grandsons arrival. grama
I was going to say that it’s a family tradition for us, Grama, but I think it has been in every family since Eve! Hope you enjoyed your reading tonight. I love you!
Wow, this is a great post. I’ve reflected a lot on this and actually having children is what drove me to reflect. I found myself lost in the craziness that is a newborn and I didn’t want to miss the miracle. So I began recognizing when I was feeling high-strung and started forcing myself to rest in a moment, like you said, waiting in line or on the phone. For my personality it has been life-saving. I also realized after watching a couple TV shows over the weekend that I get emotionally involved with TV characters. What a waste! I’d so rather use that energy to be involved with people in my life that I can influence. It reminded me why I don’t watch much television. Anyway, great, reflective entry. I really enjoyed reading it and want to be more intentional about these sorts of things to, to God’s glory. It’s Him we find in those restful moments whether we mean to or not. 🙂
Tina, I definitely think that upcoming motherhood has caused me to reflect more on this issue. I resonate with what you said about not wanting to “miss the miracle” of a newborn, even in the midst of sleep deprivation, etc. That is so cool that you recognized yourself investing emotional energy in TV characters and chose to direct that into real relationships instead! Not that TV is evil, but we only have so much time and energy to give. Love you, girl!
Looks like it’s 9pm–time for me to say goodnight to my computer! 🙂
Oh my gosh, Tina. I hadn’t really thought about the emotional capital wasted on TV characters! I love this observation. Thinking about it now…
Brilliant, Nin. On my days off, I almost always take a nap with my little Mary. Sometimes I feel conflicted because it’s such prime house-cleaning time with her asleep. But those naps, especially when I’m not sleeping and she is snuggled up on me, are already my favorite memories. So full of peace, and gratitude and a sense of being very, very present. Last Sunday, we both got a little carried away and slept for three hours. But, you know what? There were no negative consequences from our little indulgence. We both woke up happy, had a dance party in the living room shortly thereafter, and went to bed on time. So we needed it.
I love it, Sis. That is one of the things I look forward to most–napping with my little one snuggled up on my chest. 🙂
I so love this: “And there’s another reason we don’t have time for stillness: I believe we avoid it because we are afraid of what we would find there. If I slowed down enough to really listen (to my spirit, my body, my mind), I might not like what it tells me. Or if I sat down to listen for the voice of God and sit with Him in the vulnerability of who I really am, what might He say to me? And so it is safer to fill my schedule with more work, more Facebook time, more music, more accomplishments than to slow down and be still” In the books I have recently read on simplicity, and on solitude, as well as what I am getting from the word, this is all so true. We run, and so we do not hear. We speak, so we do not listen. We keep busy so that we trust in ourselves, and not in God.
Love you Jenni!
I love you, too, Laurie!
Thanks for sharing these thoughts. You might have written them just for me:)
great post for reminding us to slow down. i prefer the quietness of the car rides to talk with God and thank Him for all His goodness in my life.
thanks! I’m going to go sit in the warm afternoon sun 😉 good bye
I love it! 😉
Yes! Love this post. I have had a growing awareness of my need to have near-constant stimulation. Nothing big … but the radio on in the car, or texting friends while watching my kids at the park, or whatever … as if even five minutes of sitting and apparently doing nothing feels like a near eternity. I hate what this restlessness does to my attention span and my powers of observation, and even my ability to listen to the Lord speaking to me (instead of just talking at or to Him).
Thanks for the reminder!
Hannah, I’m so glad this resonated with you, too. I’m finding that it’s a common problem…but not a common struggle .What I mean is that most people don’t notice or bother to address the issue. That’s awesome that you’re becoming aware of it and desiring to stake some ground. Even the smallest changes can make a difference! Grace & peace to ya.
I have been learning this principle over the last few years. My natural tendency is to be achievement driven, but that leads to lots of stress and busyness. I am learning to live slower, accomplish less, and feel more satisfied deep in my soul. Less stress is definitely better overall and leads to more creativity and enjoyment in life!
Your blog is as beautiful as you. There is an inner glow that radiates through it. Glad I stopped by. All beautiful things grow in silence and in stillness we are closest to self and in communion with our surroundings and the universe. Lovely post. It made me realize I must also sit back and do what you did. hugs. Keep sharing
Here is a thought for you
http://tikulicious.wordpress.com/2010/09/14/learn-to-be-quiet/ Do read my work sometime and leave your views.
omg thats lovely ❤
Wonderful post. I love being still too. I think it’s mostly because of my overactive imagination though, but you’re definitely right, I too am constantly torn between filling my day with things to do and wanting to take a break and just “enjoy the show,” so to speak.
I love carving out time in my vacation for stillness. I knit, usually something mindless, so that I can let my thoughts go. I find it very hard to just sit somewhere – but knitting allows me to just be in the moment and enjoy it. And then the thoughts come, and the pondering, and the observing of the space that I’m in! Thank you for a timely post. We need it, especially as the holy days of December come galloping towards us!
Great suggestions. However, if I lie down for 15 minutes, I’ll definitely fall asleep!
This post could not have arrived at a better time for me… I never give myself the time to stop and contemplate everything and just end up getting overwhelmed by everything ahead.
This is perfect and really inspiring.
Thank you for writing it!
Rubelle’s Moon
Great Post, Great Question at the end and to answer I would say it is in fact having time with my computer (even though it’s not mine 100% because I share it), but yeah! having time with it and work with it like surfing the net and find interesting stuff to do, to read, to discover to get inspiration from for my writing. Yeah! Life without my writing is not life, well it would be really boring and empty for me. The biggest challenges it’s my everyday life that needs from me, but I try my best to balance. Sometimes I fail and others I’m almost there.
I feel so relaxed reading this..
I love this article, I read it at a very apt time I have a lot going on in my life right now and stopping and taking time would require me to think about myself and my reality. I have been putting it off because I know that the stillness with require me to listen to myself however I also know it will bring healing so time to put my feet.
Nice work! I have a river in my front yard perfect for those “living slowly” moments which I visit daily. Thanks for the good words.
Love your post! thanks for sharing! I somehow can relate, but what I long to do, what I missed doing is walking bare-footed in the grass during quited times.
And this ~ “Observe Sabbath. Dedicating one day a week to step back from your work really flies in the face of our “non-stop” culture.”
Praise GOD for the Sabbath, that’s the best time to be restored in a hustle and bustle-filled week. 🙂
Congrats for being Freshly Pressed~
~curlybookworm.wordpress.com
Great and insightful post Jenni. I usually take a few moments to be a still every day, sometimes taking pictures and often get asked (with scrunched up faces of disdain), “Do you just stare out the window ALL day?” A few moments go a long way! Have a great day (:
Melissa
Among Indonesian youth, this kind of situation is popularly known as ‘galau’ 🙂
So glad to see other people sharing their experience about how to cope with this kind of feeling. Great post Jenni!
Thank you for sharing this. I just heard, once again this morning, “Be still and know” and then after taking time to be silent and listening to the voice of my Father, signed in to write my blog, and saw yours. I am again reminded to be still. Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement. Blessings!
Fantastic post!
It was exactly what I needed to start my day/week!!
This is a beautiful and very truthful post. I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said, and I really enjoyed reading everything you wrote. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on freshly pressed – it’s very well deserved.
What a wonderful post…I could literally feel myself relaxing just reading it!
It’s true that life can get you down if you do it too fast.
Sometimes, you have to let yourself chill for a moment and just listen.
I have to admit; I don’t relax as often as I probably should. “There’s too much to do!” is what my mind says.
But usually, when I find time, I’ll simply go to my room, fling open the windows and curtains and lay face-first on the bed, staring out the window and breathing.
And honestly, I’m just a child in most eyes; I’m only 14. 🙂 Thank you for this lovely, insightful post!
My moments come whilst reclining in a hot bath. Precious few other moments are my own – and when they are I usually spend them catching up on my under-indulged writing.
This is so true. Most people find silence uncomfortable, because you really get confronted with the truth.
“Be still and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10. There’s a reason we need to be still before the Lord. Great post!
Its great.. however, it still does not imply for people like me.. since if i start to sit down and relax, i wont be able to stop it. however, it is good that you put this article as there are many of us who needs to slow down and enjoy life.
Well said. My children are grown however, the habit of rising 30 minutes earlier than the family began when they were babies. The time of peace and reflection just for me always starts the day on a happier note and carries throughout the day. Enjoy the newborn days, they fly by on swift wings of joy.
Brilliant. Thank you so much for the encouragement. I’ve been trying to clear time in my evenings to just be still.
Good point. Balance is key. We all need to keep moving and accomplish things, but an occasional moment of reflection is often needed.
Psalm 46:10 ‘Be still and know that I am God…”
[…] https://undertheapricottree.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/no-shame-in-stillness/ […]
Great tips! I need to actually be doing these things better.
What a beautiful post. Your observations on our modern society are an acute blow to our “always moving forward” culture. This is one of the best posts I’ve read. Thank you for sharing.
love the concept! your should come to Ethiopia, life is slower here 🙂
I agree; observing the Sabbath is imperative, and can be hard in our farming community when everyone is still combining. I am thankful for a husband who knows when to rest. Great post!
This is an interesting topic that you bring up. Continue sharing, i might be back for more! 🙂
I appreciate this post so much! This has been such an issue for me, just learning to slow down and enjoy God, letting go of the pressures of life and such things. Your post reminds me of a book I’m reading called “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.” It’s incredibly eye-opening and encouraging, opening me up to realize my own spirit! Life really is amazing. Thanks for sharing your heart. 🙂
The best Freshly Pressed I’ve read yet. A simple but powerful message. You have inspired me to slow down and live in the moment more. Time can be our friend as well.
I did the same thing this past weekend. On Saturday, I did absolutely nothing for about an hour. I just sat there. And it was glorious, my friend. 🙂
I love that you included the idea of going for a walk or jog and leaving the iPod at home. I started doing this as I found the sounds of nature far more pleasing than anything on my iPod…it’s just so much more relaxing.
Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
Great post! Whenever I try to have moments of stillness, I find myself obsessing about work or writing or the laundry I haven’t done. I really want to be able to turn my mind off and just enjoy existing.
Whoa, you’re living on the edge. Way to get wild and spend some time with Jesus, you crazy woman you. 😉 Thanks for the reminder to be still today.
Great post…although stillness and reflection are as important to those who do not believe in God as they are for those who do.
It is deeply counter-cultural to be STILL and silent, alone. It is also deeply healing and essential. Just because “no one else” is doing it doesn’t mean it isn’t the best choice. It is.
Loved this post! Yesterday our pastor’s sermon was all about listening to that “still small voice” and taking time to meditate on our prayers. I find it difficult to do when life is so busy but today (since your voice seems to be pushing the thought along) I will have my cup of coffee this morning outdoors among the birds and the garden in the backyard and just do nothing for a little while.
Though provoking! I loved every word, every line and the wholeness of the article. I especially loved reading the below.
“And there’s another reason we don’t have time for stillness: I believe we avoid it because we are afraid of what we would find there. If I slowed down enough to really listen (to my spirit, my body, my mind), I might not like what it tells me. Or if I sat down to listen for the voice of God and sit with Him in the vulnerability of who I really am, what might He say to me?”
Still Waters Run Deep
Great post! My biggest challenge is all things technological. I din’t sit still and daydream when I can be playing with my smartphone – and that’s not doing me, or my writing, any good!
This is such an important post. Thanks so for writing it. One thing I’ve found as a mom, and as a therapist too, is that stillness is one way we give others permission to come to us, to even find us. Many of the teens who come to see me are so broken up because they can’t juggle all the wonderful things they want to do. It doesn’t occur to them they can drop something, doesn’t occur to them that in life you have to choose. They all routinely say they are afraid they’re going to miss something. They would rather be on medication to calm their anxiety and depression than to give up an activity. Where did they learn this?
I think so many of us need to hear this advice — on a routine basis, probably. So if you wouldn’t mind, please post the same advice on your blog once a week or so.
Then get Freshly Pressed. Once a week. Every week. K? 😉
Great article. you’ve got my attention!
http://letscriticize.wordpress.com
http://alfjeremy.wordpress.com
i loved the shoes too:)
I learned a bit about stillness last year when my partner and I were living in Haiti. We had sporadic access to electricity and no television. We lived in a city where a million and half homeless Haitians struggled to get by in make-shift tents that tarped the hillsides all around us.
That year taught me a lot about being quiet–still amidst the rubble–quiet even in the face of destruction.
Thank you for this post. I need the reminder now that I’m back in the states working on a memoir. I need to be quiet as I look back at a past that was far from ordinary–no where near peaceful. However, I need to write from that place of stillness–a place where grace abounds–the still small point of the turning world.
Thanks again.
Kathy
[…] of the blog post talked about doing something socially unacceptable and so counter-cultural. The writer spoke […]
Love this post! I have always been about taking time to just be still and reflect, and I am glad to read that others are doing the same. I take the time to be still while “swaying in kung fu or tai chi”. It is incredibly relaxing and healing for me. I also find just looking up at the trees and feeling the breeze, listening to the birds helps me be still. Living in the mountains has made this part of my day even easier to accomplish. My husband and I find time every day to just sit and talk to each and reflect. and at times we say nothing, just being together is enough. I believe this is a big part of why we are so closely bonded.
Thanks for the great post and congrats on freshly pressed!
Beautiful post. As I struggle with grief and fear regarding my terminally ill mother, at times I “keep busy,” not out of a real need to do so, but to push the scary emotions down to a darker place. Yes, its a coping mechanism, but doesn’t help me move forward to a place of peace, and interfers with the time I do have left with her.
What a GREAT point! Thanks for making me slow down today. I’ll try your tips this month!
“..my busyness reflects my value”
Yes. That has definitely, always been my mindset: the more productive I am, the more valuable and respectable I am. Inactivity, being unproductive and not being busy has always equaled “incompetent, worthless.”
Thanks for the reminder that it’s OKAY to relax..
to think and let thinking be it’s own end.
Aun Aqui
This one is my favorite:”If you’re waiting in line at the bank, store, or on the phone, reclaim that time as an opportunity to be still in your heart.” Usually, “waiting” is when I feel most stressed, but I look forward to trying to observe stressful lines as a great chance for stillness.
I have some ideas too for how to be intentionally still! I call it Pajama Therapy 🙂 http://abelovedone.wordpress.com/2011/04/15/pajama-therapy/
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this.
I tried something similar last summer, where I took an hour of each day to be alone with my own thoughts and just make space for myself. Often times, I would bring a notebook and fill it in with each and everything that came into my head I felt was worth shifting the pen around for, but it was also just so nice not to be listening to someone else’s words on an ipod or a collection of paper, and just be.
peace and love 🙂
Great post! I was drawn to it as I@m studying ‘shame’ at the moment. And I love what you write about vulnerability before God. So important. And scary, but necessary. I, despite not even believing that we should, still seem incapable of not measuring myself by what I do. It is so ingrained into me. I pray that, with the encouragement of people like yourself, I may enter ever more into this place of peace with myself and not measuring myself by what I achieve. Play is also important. Just having fun for the sake of fun and not for any purpose or ahievement value. Another thing I’m practicing.
Bless you for your post 🙂
Great post – I try to sit in “stillness” at least once a day or once every other by meditating.
I love this post! I agree that I tend to “feel better” about myself when I’m productive. But God has created us to need rest and relaxation. I intentionally restrained myself from being productive this weekend so that I could read and take a nap instead. And I feel great!
Silence makes people so uncomfortable these days and it shouldn’t. We are one of the most productive societies and we also carry the least vacation days. When we do take vacations we are still plugged-in to our work and our responsibilities thanks to modern technology. In fact, whenever I take a vacation I get degraded for it by my boss/co-workers/ friends. Why is this? If we work hard all year, don’t we deserve some time for ourselves? I am actually going to be doing a self-experiment for a literature and technology class I am taking in which I “unplug” myself completely for 72 hours. I know this is going to be hard because I am so dependent on technology, but I think it’s good to step back every once in awhile and enjoy life from the other side of our computer screens. So this blog was great, because it reminded me that I’m not alone in my thoughts, and that it’s OK every once in awhile to just be.
There really is nothing better than being idle every once in a while.
Thank you for writing this (and congrats on being Freshly Pressed) :).
My biggest challenge is finding stillness is getting my family to turn off the technology. The T.V. is on from the time my husband and I get home from work (yes, it’s just the two of us in the family) until we go to bed. It gets pretty loud and stillness is hard to come by.
Because of that, I usually get up earlier than I need to so that I can have that quiet time to myself.
how beautiful I would just love to sit and laze about about xx
I love your post, it’s really helps me to realized a lot ..;)
Thank you for posting this! While I have been working on this concept for a while, reading how someone else did it and more importantly, reveled in it, makes me feel like I’m doing the right thing. Your post was inspiring.
Great post. I really enjoyed it.
Personally, stillness makes me nervous as hell. I can hardly stand it, which is exactly why I should probably confront it.
Thank you for sharing. I will follow your blog for sure.
Lovely post! My husband and I retreat to the Nevada Desert for sanctuary. When we return home, I am able to recapture the stillness I found there by looking at our photos and writing of those travels.
Recently my stress level has sky rocketed. The advice I was given was to take two 20 minute relaxation periods throughout the day to meditate – not in the new age-y sense of the word, but just to be still and think about enjoyable things, focus on God as you mention, or listen to a nice relaxing tape that walks you through some scenery or something. Your ideas are great. I’m going to try them. Experts say it is crucial to find time throughout the day for relaxation. I really appreciate this post!
Awesome Post!:-)And congratulations on being Freshly Pressed 🙂
We need reminders like these in our lives, because all we know/have been taught to do is to go go go, and not stop! Like my pastor usually says: “If you don’t know how to take some rest in your busy life, your last rest maybe on a hospital bed or in a grave.”
I love reminders like this. Everyone could use some calming moments every now and then. I love when I can sit outside and truly enjoy the serenity. Helps bring me back to reality and what’s really important 🙂
my problem is that i do too much of stillness….
hence manage not to study 🙂
I have always fought for my me-time, for the amazing stillness of doing nothing and trying to calm the mind. I was many times judged by the people around as being a little… off. Our society today really frowns upon any such “hippie” activities, and more than that, people, as you very outspokenly said it, are downright afraid of doing nothing. Or of not having a constant distraction in the form of TV, mobile, car radio, internet, games…
Was a pleasure to read your article, and actually your entire blog, starting with its name, suggests this inner-life type of writing. Going back to read some more! 🙂
I feel like… this is exactly what I needed to hear… or read…
A friend posted a link to this story. It hit close to home for me, as I was just considering all of this same stuff yesterday as the beautiful afternoon sun on my deck begged for me to just sit still for a minute. I thought of all of the things that I needed to do and I budgeted 45 minutes just to sit still.
I thoroughly enjoyed it and I hope that I can work more moments of calm, stillness into my days, interwoven between the busy times.
Thanks for a great read. It underscores to me that I did the right thing.
Thanks for sharing. I find one of the hardest things to do is sit still and relax. I always have to be doing, doing, doing, something. In Psalm 46:10, God said, “Be still and know that I am God”. I’m going to really start forcing myself to take time to do nothing. Thanks for sharing Connie
http://7thandvine.wordpress.com/
Thanks for posting. I love the idea of stillness and simplicity. I wish more people took the time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life rather than focusing on that material things or who’s doing what in the media.
Slow down, take time, appreciate the little things. Good rules to live by.
Only God can make me be still, I can only give myself time to be still when the Lord shows me that I cannot live in my own strengths. I get so caught up in activities and start to trust in myself, when the only one that should have my trust is Jesus. I appreciate your post, and through your words God has reminded me the real important things in life. Thank you.
Hi Jenny.
I stumbled across your blog-post (it made it to the front page on WordPress.com) and it caught my attention. I love your insight and how you gathered/presented your thoughts… brilliant. I so agree with what you’ve said, and I would like to repost it on my blog. Would that be okay? (I will of course give full credit, I just didn’t want to do so without asking first.) My blog is http://LoveGodLovePeopleLiveFree.wordpress.com.
Thanks for your consideration… and thanks for sharing your heart with us.
Sincerly,
Mark
Hi Mark,
Thanks for reading; I’m glad this post was an encouragement. Yes, if you want to repost this to your blog, I am happy for you to share it with your readers, since you have asked permission.
I just ask that you please include the following copyright notice:
“© 2011, Jenni Burke, Under the Apricot Tree. All rights reserved. Originally published at https://undertheapricottree.wordpress.com/.”
Thanks and best regards,
Jenni
What a great post. So glad you wrote it. I aspire to simplicity in my daily life, but it’s hard to maintain it in modern times. Peaceful stillness is a beautiful thing.
Great post! I agree that our society doesn’t value smelling the roses.
Well said! I’ve been trying to carve out time for stillness and the reflection I crave. One major step for me has been making it a priority to go to sleep earlier so that I can wake up an hour or so before the rest of my family wakes up…. which means a painfully early time for me of 5 am! I am a total night owl, so this is seriously painful, but I am THAT desperate for some time alone to stop and think and pray. There is amazing strength and renewal in that stillness.
It took me many years to actually follow-through with the idea of taking time to do nothing. When I lived in a faster paced environment I never realized I needed it. Now that I live part-time in the mountains, I know what I was missing–a lot. great post
[…] and reading the paper or going to a movie with friends. I love the advice Jenni gives in her piece about stillness. I found the following to be the most helpful and realistic in my […]
I like this. I’ve been living the “stillness” lifestyle for years…I call it the “joys of irresponsibility.” Maybe I’m just a professional lazy person but it works for me.
We have a porch swing and it is part of my therapy. We have spent the last 18years on that swing and discovered things about ourselves that a $200 hr therapist would never tell.
Thanks so much for the reminder and the courage to be “rebellious” in being still. I refuse to wear my iPod while walking, not only for safety reasons (not being able to hear someone come up behind you) but because we’re bombarded by noise all day. Nature has some amazing sounds that are relaxing when we allow them to be. I find great joy in distinguishing the different bird calls or just hearing the wind blowing through the brush. I even find an odd comfort in the buzz from the electrical lines…LOL.
As they say, “The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted”. It’s not that we think of it as wasting of our time but more of how other people perceive it to be. I agree with you in all of your points. It really is important to take back from all that’s happening because in that way, we are able to look at things on a much better perspective 🙂
[…] No Shame in Stillness « Under the Apricot Tree. Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Categories Blog, En, Fr, […]
Don’t carry a cellphone or in my case, don’t have one. 🙂
I’m a cyclist so I rarely get stuck in a big traffic lineup like car drivers do who don’t know what else to do besides …text, radio, etc.
I get to go somewhere, see some pleasant scenery elsewhere and become healthy/fit –all at the same time.
There is nothing I love more than absolute silence in the morning. Just the dark and the quiet before everyone wakes up. I find my most peaceful self there.
Great post! Well deserved of FP!
I love this! This is funny as today, I went for a walk in the sun although it was cold. The air had a lovely crisp freshness to it. I saw these three huge Willow trees that have been standing for about 200 years.
Like a little girl, I stood underneath one of them. I felt so calm, safe and refreshed. My mind began to clear, it was quite magical.
Thanks for sharing.
Namaste
Fantastic post! I am going to circulate it to the women who follow my program, HerSelf First: Giving Women Caregivers the Power to Pause. Thanks for a beautifully written and really insightful post.
Namaste!
“I believe we avoid it because we are afraid of what we would find there”. I totally agree! And also it’s the only way to actually see what’s really important…
Thank you for this, great post.
Wonderful post!
A few weeks ago, I flew from Salt Lake to Detroit. I brought some knitting with me, along with a small assortment of books, my IPhone, etc. However, when I sat down on the plane, I realized that I didn’t really HAVE to do anything; I could just sit, think, and stare out the window. And that’s what I did, all the way to Detroit. It felt great to just reflect upon things because I rarely take the time to do so.
~linda
http://cloverpatch.wordpress.com/
This is an incredibly insightful and humbling post – Thank you! It is hard to remember to take time for self, for prayer, for God, or just for silence. It’s important, and we all need a little more of it. Thank you.
[…] found a wonderful blog post today called “No Shame in Stillness“. In it, the author inquires about whether or not we were actually meant to “make the […]
God always takes me where I need to be..such as to read this today. I read a devotional this morning that said to be still~silent~and long suffering. I will come back to this when I have time to absorb it all. Thank you! I get the message..lol!
“I was still”
beautiful.
taking a few minutes away from the desk and looking out at the view and being still too.
thank you. truly.
_tg. x
Thanks for this post! Sometimes I find myself worn out even if I am being still. The thoughts of what I have to do, or what needs to get done lingers on my mind until I am exhausted even when I am resting. I think it is important to clear the mind (even if its only for 15 minutes) and “just be still.” It is well worth it. Taking a minute out of the day to just have to yourself..to breathe and not not think.
Lovely post, great thoughts for this sunny colorful fall day =)
How refreshingly wonderful. Thank you for reminding us all to stop and smell the roses!!!
“Eat sitting down at a table; turn off your technology and taste your food; be aware of it pleasing your taste buds and nourishing your body.”
And, may I add: put down your cutlery between each bite and chew the food properly. Take your time to enjoy the meal.
Yay for turning the car radio off!! I talk to myself in traffic. It’s my best “me” time!
Nothing makes it harder to be still than the voice of someone else refusing to be still. Any time you can find an off switch, it’s probably a good idea to flip it once in a while. Turn off your phone. You’ll live, really. Turn off the computer. Turn off your TV.
Great post, thanks! I’m glad this one got Freshly Pressed. 🙂
“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”
― A.A. Milne
This is fantastic. Thanks for posting!
So glad the world hasn’t forgotten that sometimes it’s best to just do nothing and that silence isn’t a bad thing!
I absolutely love this post. Though my children are all grown up and I’ve retired, I now have TIME to enjoy & reflect on much that I’ve accomplished and more. I think it’s so important for younger generations to appreciate life outside of computers + their iPhones. There is so much clutter and so much to get lost in these days, we often forget to take a 5 minute breather from the chaos that is life. It’s time for a break, and it goes a long way. Thank you for sharing and for enlightening so many people!
~Winnie
For me to be still to the world i have to move.
Move so fast and so steadily im still.
Now what im saying must being confusing somepeople but for life to stay still you have to move to keep up,
Reflecting on the world and not looking back.
As your wonderful blog is about . still and relaxing in the word is giving the middle figure to todays technoligy and fast passed society.
You amazing blog is inspiering and is you do have the time i would love you to read my first blog as a younge inexperiance new blogger thank you.
What an insightful post. Very well done. When everything is still, I can relax and load up my battery again. I need that a lot these days, with so much noise going on. Congrats on being FP! Cheers.
A valuable insight that most of us need to heed. I used to treasure being still, but lately have found myself caught up in life again…stressing, having anxiety over things out of my control…thank you for the reminder to stop and breathe!
Kat
This is a beautifully written post, one fully deserving of FP status. Thank you so much for confirming in text what so many people know or at least grasp in spirit. We are not human doings but human beings, and if we don’t take a moment here and there to remember that fact, we’re sunk! That’s why so many well-meaning Christians suffer (and many burn out ‘doing’ too much for the church). The Lord is not so much concerned with what we do but rather with the quality of the time we spend with Him, and it’s very hard to do that when we’re focused on prayer groups, baked goods, rehearsal, or other things that, while awesome, can crowd the spiritual landscape.
It’s hard for my husband and I to “recharge” on Sunday because we’re in our church’s orchestra and have to do so much on the sabbath. That being said, however, I’m going to try to set aside the rest of that blessed day for quiet time for both of us. We really need it. Thank you again for a lovely, lovely post.
You worded it so beautifully. I really enjoyed reading this. May the Lord bless you in your work and in your stillness. 🙂 Thank you!
A GREAT word for a busy college student like myself, I try to make moments like those a priority through out my day. During the winter and fall especially I try and seek the sun through out the day. Being outside is essential for my soul. Thanks again for posting. I enjoyed it.
Thank you for reinforcement of things I’ve been learning lately. Beautifully written reinforcement. I sit and look out the open window at trees beginning to turn; I breathe slowly; I am grateful.
I love your suggestions, especially observing the Sabbath. Even as a practicing Jew, I find it hard sometimes to just rest and enjoy the Sabbath. There are so many pressing things to do, and tasks to accomplish.
But, I have learned to make a “to do” list each day and check off the things I’ve done. That way, at the end of the day, when I’m overwhelmed by the number of things I have not done, I can look at my list and see what I have accomplished. This is helping me to learn my realistic limits for tasks each day, and I am learning to be happy with what I can do.
just experienced this on Sunday..posted under “exactly where you are”…sublime moments of bliss. thank you for sharing your thoughts
If you don´t know where you are going there is no need to hurry, you still won´t know when you have reached your destination 🙂
Winnie the Pooh
(A.A Milne)
The slow movement. Nice. I slow down and am still by making something every day. http://www.foundobjectbeachart.wordpress.com
Be well
Nothing has come close to the stillness of walking my dog at dusk on a winter’s evening. 98% of the time, I have no use for snow or winter. But we’d walk along trails so isolated that I could actually hear snowflakes fall – nothing is more tranquil. Fablous post.
This is brilliant! I’ve been struggling with getting some quiet time in my life, but I always feel so guilty because of all the things I havn’t ‘accomplished’ in that time. Really good post, no truer words have been spoken(okay they have, but you know what I mean)!
That made me think of how much I do, but how I can’t stand stilness. It would be a great way to think deeper and a therapy from my craziness. You just inspired me to do this, and then write about it on my blog.
thanks,
Followmyfootstep
I never felt this, but only after reading this I think of it and realize that its been quite a while since I was in such a state of ‘having nothing to do’.
Thanks for reminding me. Its really good to be that way whenever possible…
Very true and beautiful post. I’ve spent a little time in Israel, and it’s incredible how they honor the Sabbath, and what an effect it has on society. One day a week is truly consecrated to community and finding meaning. It creates a rhythm that allows for every weekend to feel like a holiday.
I once heard a speaker say “we are human beings, not human doings”. How often do we live as if doing is the point? If we “do” from the outflow of “being”, our doing will have purpose and give us life, but if we try to find our being from our doing, we will feel hollow. Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, all lived out of the overflow of their being, not out out an attempt to “do”. Jesus was the perfect model that we are to live from within Him and within God, not from out performance, our doing, our striving.
“Cease striving and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)
Thank you for your insights. I enjoyed your post.
“If I slowed down enough to really listen (to my spirit, my body, my mind), I might not like what it tells me” – Mine are definitely severely peeved at me 😀 my life over the past 6 months has been crazy and I know I have abused every aspect of myself in attempt to soldier on and get everything done.
I find that the hardest challenge in finding stillness is that I am always with people all the time, so I block out my inner voice in order to hear what they have to say.
Beautiful article! I notice I am most in touch with a feeling of abundance when I am still. Thanks for this awesome reminder.
As a full-time college student in my school’s nursing program, I have to make myself sit still. I’ll take an hour lunch break, just to sit. Even if I’m by myself (which, when I’m having a busy day, is preferable). I just like to sit and look around. My school is very pretty, and the buildings have very nice big windows to look out of 🙂 Or, if it’s a nice day, I’ll sit at one of the many seating areas my school has set outside for students. Not exactly a big way of sitting still, but I like my still time. Sometimes you just need it, you know? 🙂
Brilliant post. I advocate a minimalist lifestyle but still need to be still. To be quiet. To do nothing. Thank you.
Mark
http://www.minimalistlifestyle.wordpress.com
Jenni. This is magnificent. I am trying to make stillness an art form and it isn’t easy. In fact, it takes a discipline that is harder than anything I’ve ever had to do. I work in the corporate world that rewards A-type personalities and since that is where I spend the majority of my time, I find that when I try and be still, my mind still races a million miles a minute. I started my blog in the quest for finding a new me (or the actual me) that can rid myself of the dross, calm my spirit, and let my creative juices flow freely. But that can only happen in stillness. Thanks for the encouragement and the great tips. Congrats on being FP’D! http://www.howthehelldidienduphere.wordpress.com
Love the post. I enjoy reading and will be still for up to 30 minutes if I have the time or make the time. I feel we all deserve a 5 minute break and maybe multiple throughout the day just to center and be still. Have you noticed how many people just fidget while waiting in lines – drives me bonkers at times, especially the ones going on a slow rage that are ready to explode by the time they get out of there – YIKES! Congrats on being FP!
Thanks Jenni for this very enlightening post. Very true and worth reading and emulating (your list of ideas). I love to be still and alone and think and connect with myself. Reading this encouraged me and the next time I do it, I won’t be guilty anymore.
Thanks a lot! 🙂
This is just exactly what i need to hear (rather read). It brightens my day. Thanks for sharing. And yes, there’s nothing more fulfilling than savoring the stillness of time. 🙂
As for what makes me find the happiness in stillness, it is when I see the little flowers around me uncoiling to life. They are very, very little creatures but brings big wonders, and a stillness to my heart that is.
Congrats on being FP’d!
Love this post! Being still in our culture is such an odd thing; no one does it, know one seems to know how to, and it doesn’t matter, ’cause no one really wants to.
I have had my best moments with God in stillness; He does still speak to us… if only we take time to listen!
Congrats on the FP post, it’s a good one!
Yes, it may seem odd to others, but there’s nothing shocking or counter-cultural about it for a Christian, is there! It’s part of our Spiritual LIFE to be still. And though it may not look like it, it accomplishes more than a lot of busy-bodying around, distracting yourself from the truth.
But it takes humility to be still. Like you say, the stillness cries out in words we may not want to hear, but need to.
I completely agree! I try not to lose sight of life while working because then I’ll start forgetting why I’m doing all this. However, it’s hard to be able to sit back and relax because we’ve been told repeatedly since we were children NOT to sit idly or to always be productive. So whenever I do get one of these chances, a small part of me in the back of my brain always rebels and nags at me for not having anything to do.
But when I am able to let go, remembering how to enjoy everything is one of the best feelings in the world 🙂
Thanks for the post! 🙂
I have one of the very few mature trees in the neighbourhood where we live. I love listening to the leaves rustle in the wind. It’s where I can completely find my place of stillness. To leave the thoughts that scatter my mind on a daily basis. It’s where 4 young men (18-22) can disappear from my thoughts and I don’t hear the word ‘mom’. Though I live in a city, I can find my centre near that tree.
I totally agree and I join you as a rebel with a cause. I meditate every morning. The other thing I do since I don’t have a car is I walk. And these days I walk with my camera. Taking photographs, even though it is the act of doing something, still puts me in a contemplative place.
Spending time in nature without your high tech toys will automatically slow you down. This is a cultural thing. I have been to many countries where fear of stillness does not exist.
Love this!
I especially love the second idea about claiming time spent waiting. How much more productive than getting annoyed and angry!
I like these ideas because I’m struggling with being alone all day while my new husband is at work and I’m at home looking for work.
Thanks for the great post!
Jenni,
This post was great! I think everyone needs to take time to just be still, with the hectic lives we all live. Every once in a while, I will turn my radio off in my car and it is just so peaceful. It’s almost like all the noise has disappeared, if only just for a moment. I enjoy relaxing with my dogs, because they have such positive energy and nothing to worry about. Thank you again for this post!
Jessica
I’m saving this post, because I’m going to show it to anyone who wonders why I enjoy doing nothing sometimes, especially on Sundays. I crave time to be still, and have made time for it for years, despite the protests of friends and family. “But we have to do something,” I hear quite often. Uh, no we don’t. Thanks for sharing this!
Yup, I agree. I LONG for stillness and am COMPLETELY comfortable in it, I just don’t get it very often these days with two small children. My soul is thirsty for silence with God. Thanks for the post! Congrats on being freshly pressed!
I’m sick in bed today reading your great post. Sad, that too often it’s not until my body says “no more,” that I take time out to be still & (try to) do nothing–which of course is a great something. Point taken. Thanks.
[…] Sometimes that’s all it takes: sitting still. which is funny because on the homepage of wordpress I stumbled across a blog on that : https://undertheapricottree.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/no-shame-in-stillness/ […]
I’m so glad I came across your post. This is something that I’ve been struggling with myself lately. I am going to try out some of your suggestions and see if they help.
So True! I usually spend lunches at work running errands or gossiping with co-workers. Today I went to the park and just sat under a tree, flipping through a magazine (but not actually reading it) It was so relaxing! And I thought of absolutely nothing in particular during that time. *Bliss*
Thank you for this blog. It’s a healthy reminder that the best gift we can give those we love and lead is a healthy us. I have difficulty in this practice. I have prayer times regularly but find myself filling up every other minute with work, thinking, technology, etc.
I recently have been trying the focus on kids at home just listening and talking to them more. I find it’s not just good for the family but refreshing to me. I think we could truly Benefit as a society if we did this. You gave us great practical ways to do it.
I’m so glad WordPress is sharing NEW material on the home page, which led me to your post. So true, so basic, yet so hard for people unaccustomed to being ‘still’. Nicely done.
Congrats on FP! Hang on for the ride! 🙂
Jenni, this is truly brilliant. Thank you for sharing this and congrats on fp. This is part of why I took up photography – I felt my life was zipping by too quickly, and I wanted to force myself to slow down and soak up the details. I will be the 1st to admit that I fill up my idle time with lots of endless activity, likely because I am afraid that in the quiet my demons will come out to play. But reading this reminds me to slow it down some, maybe take some time to let my mind show itself.
Silence is such a rare commodity in our electronic world that it is to be desired and guarded carefully. Thanks for taking the time to remind us all to slow down and just be!
I take time off to listen to nothing but my thoughts minutes before I sleep or early in the morning when I have just taken a bath. It’s nice to hear my own thoughts rather than the usual cacophony of noise in the background. I think it also helps, too, if you look at the mirror as you listen to yourself. Looking at your own eyes and seeing yourself vulnerable kinda gives a reinforcement somehow.
Great article, btw. And gratz on being freshly pressed! 😉
Wow. Due to lack of time I had to scan through parts of the blog and zero in on the ones that had my attention the most. In this age of modern convenience-which has become inadvertingly inconvenient, we often neglect the more simple things in life, like walking down the street during the Autumn Season while listening to the leaves crunch beneath your feet, or the horns blaring through traffic downtown, or the smell of coffee and pastries at the local coffee shops. Sometimes I just like to enjoy those things without my iPod, or smartphone. Sometimes I just like to be in a Zen-like mode and be aware of my surroundings. I wish I could continue, but I could go on and on about this one, but I’ll say this. We ALL need to slow down and just breathe in the atmosphere of simplicity and enjoy the free things in life. Things that can’t be bought or sold. This is the gift of God.
‘Nuff Said!
I find that I “do nothing” way more than everybody I know. I also have an intangible list of things I do that take more time but are altogether more enjoyable; some similar or identical to your list.
I seldom respond to these blogs because it seems like hawking, and in my book, hawking is smarmy and smarmy is bad. That aside, I found your blog true and touching. ; )
beautiful words and a fellow ‘stiller’ I see 🙂 My way is walking in the woods, the longer I walk, the ‘stiller’ I become within. to stand on a mountain and just breathe. or in music, to sit and let my thoughts dance in the air.
A very cool post indeed, very reflective. Spending time with oneself is a feast in itself and this is the best way we come to know ourselves.
Thanks for a great post! I decided quite a few years ago that Sunday would always be a day of rest for me. Homework etc would always be done on Saturday or earlier. Amazing how restful this day is now. Before I would be looking forward to Saturdays and hating Sundays (the day before Monday), but now I always know that whatever unfinished business I have on Saturday, Sunday will always be there for me 🙂
the beauty of stillness…I miss it badly… I’ve been depriving myself of this in the past days because of my hectic sched… I miss the days when I could feel a deep sense of rest within… I think I really need to slow down a bit
amazing, being still is a gift not many people have… You find yourself and your thoughts.great blog!
What a wonderful idea. : ) Yesterday, I had a friend cancel on me and was forced to accept the fact that God had other plans for my day. What that meant was sitting in a park in the beautiful sun and light of fall and simply taking it all in — taking Him in — listening to what He had to say. So often I am guilty of not sitting still. But when I do, I am amazed at how He speaks, how He loves, and how He holds me. Be still and know that I am God!
What a beautiful post! My husband and I were just talking about this yesterday, how doing nothing is seen so bad in our society. I have found that when I actually take that time to rest and be still I gain more and I’m a happier person. I still need to practice this more because I tend to get distracted by the “business” that I feel I need to accomplish. One thing I love to do is really take my time when I give affection to our bulldog, and not only rub his belly but admire his different features and just let myself relax with the rhythm of his breathing.
I love this post. I have realized one thing, stillness is a good thing. It sometimes is an act of showing that you know God is greater than you and can work things better. So you are still before Him in trust focusing on Him alone. You are saying your schedule is not your God. Sometimes we make running around and busy schedules our idol that we almost miss the point. I recently had to spend two weeks of complete rest, in that I realized how I compartmentalize God into an hour a day, when really He deserves 24 hours. I am learning to slow down. I haven’t reached far, but at least I am trying. Your post kind of reminded me. What is the foundation of Sabbath? It is trust. To stop even cooking yourself food for one day or cease from planting crops for an entire year every seven years would entail trusting God to provide. We can Sabbath everyday by – Being still and knowing He is God. God bless!
Thanks Jenni.
The more encouragement to still we can get, the happier we can be. In stillness grow the fruits of God – apricots and all..:)
Lovely post-am so tempted to quote Blaise Pascal –
“All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone. ”
keep still.But do keep writing..
Thank you so much for the reminding us the importance of staying still. I needed that a lot..:) Sometimes my work (well in my case, studies) just take the hold of me and I barely have time for anything. So thank you again..:)
youprobably won’t notice this amongst the flurry of comments but I do want to say it’s an excellent blog and I’ve copied down parts in my notebook. Not only have you excellent things to say but you have expressed them eloquently. and what a magnificent opening !
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I long for this!! Maybe I’ll take you up on some of your advice.
I think the it is desire of humankind and and insatiable demand that make us scare of the stillness.
Just live a life like your blog head: Savoring the Abundance of Simple Living
I am fortunate enough to live in a very quiet area, close to the beach, surrounded by the sounds of nature and my kids. But even in the stillness, I find myself to be constantly busy. Thanks for taking the time to write this post, even just to remind us to take time to be still and enjoy just doing nothing 🙂
Great post…there is nothing that beats being in nature. Whenever I am feeling a bit stressy (usually when I have been sitting in front of the computer screen to long) I always find that a quick walk outside (preferably among trees) helps to ground me in stillness. 🙂
Just reminded of this favourite piece of poetry after reading this beautiful post of yours. Hope you enjoy this one:
W. H. Davies
Leisure
WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—
No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:
No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
I was going to post that, it was the first thing I thought of. You’re so right. Lovely original post and a perfect response. I love this poem too, not quite stillness but the same idea of ‘making the most’ of time in your own way:
I Meant To Do My Work Today, by Richard Le Gallienne
I meant to do my work today,
But a brown bird sang in the apple tree,
And a butterfly flitted across the field,
And all the leaves were calling me.
And the wind went sighing over the land,
Tossing the grasses to and fro,
And a rainbow held out its shining hand–
So what could I do but laugh and go?
hope you like it, Nicky
Love it! 🙂
Absolutely agree. I’m so glad to have found a like minded person who share similar attitude about living…
In a house chalk full of busy boys, with another foster/adopt boy in the works, there is little that is still. I have to marvel at my little one that while is weaning, still enjoys his morning nursings. His tiny hands sweeping across my tummy as he does reminds me to be still. Even more amazing is his knowledge of the busy world outside, deep into thought he will pull back and look at me and ask “daddy?”, the concern for his playmate on his mind. Yes, dear, Daddy is waiting for you. He offers a smile and continues our time. And we both are still.
Viva La Siesta. Si supieramos compartir más no estaríamos tan preocupados por el futuro. Ese tiempo para desconectar que nos describes tan bien en tu post no sería vivido con un sentimiento de culpabilidad. Hay que echarse el mundo por montera.
If we could share more we aren’t worried about the future. That time for “switch off” our minds not will be lived with a sentiment of guilt.
This is such a relaxing and inspirational post. 🙂
Gorgeous post, sounds like a book title!
I was tempted to stop reading after you said ‘modern woman’, but I preserved. Then you mentioned dove chocolate and yoghurt and I thought this is too woman-oriented to keep reading. Nothing wrong with that if the only audience you want is women only
I found your post on Freshly Pressed and I love it! It seems like I can never get enough done and lose precious time. Thanks for the reminder that it’s ok to be still.
Jenni – your blog post is lovely! I look forward to reading more about you and some of your other posts.
I’ve been trying hard to reestablish my morning prayer routine and your post is challenging me to stop blaming the fact that we’ve moved, routines, dogs, etc. being out of sorts.
Something deeper must be giving me an itch, so I need to try all the harder to get that hour carved back out in my day.
What I had been doing is working hard the night before to have things laid out and ready…I actually started at dinner getting ready for the morning and it helped me slog through the witching hours with the fam.
My blog is not specific to simple living, but a round about mishmash of posts related to a similar theme that you posted so specifically here – I plan to repost your blog later this week.
Thanks again and congrats on the front page headline 🙂
This is a great post. This is something I need to be reminded of again and again. As a stay at home “wife” guilt is never far away. Thank you for the encouragement and guidance.
I couldn’t agree more, especially about the trying to cram everything into a vacation. What kind of life is that? Quality of life is becoming increasingly important to me as I get older, and as my kids get older… peace and stillness are VERY important to me, and I think our kids need some of that too…
A very informative and helpful blog post! Thank you for writing it.
I have also been looking for ways to “simply be” throughout the day, especially since I often force myself to stay busy as if I might die otherwise. It really does get rather exhausting.
Love this!
Amen! I whole heartedly agree with you! Been speaking this to myself and others for a long time….however, I need the reminder. Be still, so contrary to ‘ to do list’.
Reading your Blogitem made me come closer to my stilness. It’s not easy to find through all the disruptions but every effort brings me closer. I read your Blog because of the nice photo. Thanks for sharing this beautiful insight.
Mario (Helmond).
How easy it is to forgot to ‘make’ time for quiet. Not everyone understands it, but those moments when I am alone with my thoughts are the best of my day. Thanks for reminding me to make more use of them.
If this doesn’t come out of frustration, but out of LOVE, you will be very happy by doing nothing, like I do also http://tiny.cc/p8yfn
Love this! you’re so right..the little ones have so much to teach us. And I like how you mentioned to spend that time with your little one. I sometimes have to sit with her, and use a timer, because I get so distracted and tend to multitask, but that gets me focused, and rested. I love the photo with your shoes. We really do need to slow down. Thanks for posting this!
[…] https://undertheapricottree.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/no-shame-in-stillness/ (a helpful blog post I read today on stillness – a new perspective for many of us!) Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]
It is amazing to find what comes to mind when you attempt to be still– especially if you haven’t been still in quite some time.
Wonderful post !!
I have been learning this lately and it feels unnatural but really right. I take a bath every single day and I read and I write in a journal that has big wet splotches now. I enjoy beautiful things and prutzing around displaying them. I have an eight year old Haitian sister and I have been carving out time for her in my life. I find that we prioritize tasks over people and I’ve been trying to balance that in my life. I spend a lot of time in Uganda where people are far more important than tasks and nothing gets done….somewhere in the middle is something very good.
Thank you! This is a beautiful post.
Thanks Jenni for your beautiful post & reminder. I was feeling down & just reading your post helped me with perspective. I’m often too hard on myself.
Thanks for being a messenger of what I already know & have blogged about. I think this inspires me to blog about simplicity in more detail.
Would it be ok if I linked to this post?
Brad
Such a good reminder and great ideas for purposefully engaging in life’s slowness! Glad I stumbled on this post! God’s been bringing the reminder of rest being necessary to me often recently… guess I should listen! 🙂 Thanks!
I’m glad for this post, it reminds me to take some time every day. I had an episode of General Anxiety Disorder last year because I didn’t take time to just “be”, I was working 80 hours a week, trying to run my own business on the side, study and partake in my hobbies. I managed for months, maybe years to “achieve” and all I ended up with was a mental illness.
Now I meditate occasionally but often take the time to sit, relax and do ‘nothing’. In a modern world I think the ability to do this is an achievement in itself. Not to mention, having taken some me time & stepped down my activities, I’m happier, healthier and still achieve what I set my mind to.
Take time to enjoy life, not the stuff that advertising tells you to enjoy. Simple pleasures are often the best.
I love this post. Its life changing in the best way possible. I came across it while I was in the midst of all this work that’s tossed on my shoulders daily. This could be what I need to do in order to minimize my stress level and get back in touch with the person I’ve lost (Me). Thank you so incredibly much for this.
This is an incredible way of explaining the importance of being ”still”, for any length of time. Well done!
I agree with you completely. My favorite place to be still is in my reading chair at home. Sometimes instead of reading I just look out the window. Frequently the birds land on the windowsill and I love to look at them. I do feel guilty at times, but the feeling of peace and the deeper self-knowledge that you speak of is worth it. Doing nothing may be the most I can do for myself.
I enjoyed that I admit to ‘running full speed’ all the time. I just was righting about throwing out that manual because you’re afraid of a clear an concise answer and prefer your way of getting to it. I also think you were right in that ‘being still’ does seem to get a negative connotation. I am all about productivity, but it can become consuming and therefore is it really productive at all? Thanks for the post 🙂
The model found in scripture is work six days and rest the seventh. It may be Sunday for some, I believe pastors and church volunteers may not claim this day, so it may have to be Saturday or Monday which depends on ones work schedule. If full use is made out of the days for work there should be no excuse to indulge in some quality reflection of self and where you are in your relationship with God.
Right on, sister.
it’s interesting that you blogged about this particular topic. i just finished a 5 day trip that took me well outside of my comfort zone. i typically try to fill every moment of everyday with something…work, activities, social events…anything. but i recently took a trip to east coast and did a lot of walking (no i-pod), sitting in coffee shops (just me and my thoughts), road tripping (no radio), wine (without the getting drunk). it was refreshing. a real vacation. relaxation for the mind, body, and soul.
http://www.icouldntmakethisshitup.wordpress.com
Brilliant and so true. Really enjoyed that, thank you.
So beautifully written. I have been learning to live this lesson as I recently quit my job to stay home with my two boys. It was a difficult transition to make – going from placing so much value on how busy & important I was to placing value in the time I get to spend with the people I love. After being in the Dominican Republic for 8 days on a missions trip, I’m learning that other cultures have it figured out – it really is a lovely way to live. Thanks for sharing this truth with us.
Going to go play on the floor with my son now.
I can relate to this post on a whole new level now: my parents took my two little girls (2 and 4 months) for a couple nights and I found myself in a world of scilence … one that I was able to have complete control over: If I wanted to sit, I could sit; if I wanted to watch TV I could (and PICK the show); if I just wanted to grab a book that had been calling my name I could. It was a new world …
Thanks for the Post 🙂
http://www.mommysmomments.wordpress.com
Hi Jenni,
Just found you on Freshly Pressed – congrats! 🙂 And I really enjoyed this post. For various reasons there is a lot of “down” time carved into my schedule so I’m good at that. But your reminder to use that time to listen to the voice of God & be mentally still before Him, that was written just for me! 🙂
Thanks for the inspiration today.
[…] to start today’s blog and found a wonderful post by Jenni on her Under the Apricot Tree blog. Her post touched my heart and reminded me of the simple satisfaction I receive when I slow down to […]
Even reading this I felt calmer. My Mum often pulls out my and my brothers and sisters’ earphones with a ‘God can’t get in!’ This reminds me of this, and makes a lot of sense. Thank you.
“Be still and know…” How wonderful it is to read such a simple yet powerful reminder of timeless truth.
Eric Hotchkiss
inkedkisses.wordpress.com
author@inkedkisses.com
Great post! A good message for many of us. I was draw to the title, “No Shame in Stillness” because my workplace is 90 % stillness, lol. Which acutally creates…anxiety…however knowing I’m in His will despite the slow business,’there’s no shame in it”. Thanks Jenni! Would love your feedback on my own blogs posted here atlaughalotlovemore.wordpress.com God Bless
I can only reiterate what everyone else has said. This is well written and so true. I know how important and how difficult it can be to find that stillness.
Hi! My comment got so long, I decided to make into a blog post! You can read my response to you at joyfullyoutlandish.wordpress.com
Thank you, everyone for your comments. I do read each one and have been so encouraged to see how this message is resonating with so many people, although in different ways!
Y’know, just today I was thinking to myself that I would like some silence. And how unusual it is nowadays- to have absolute silence, no radio in the background, no roaring traffic, just silence. Wonderful post with great tips.
[…] was so nice to read about someone else’s enjoyment of stillness, here on Under the Apricot Tree. It is an interesting experience to be still and one into which I find […]
Congratulations on the Freshly Pressed! What a great post! It is very rare that opportunities come along for me to just take time out.
Jenni,
Thank you for your post. I stumbled upon it when I decided to try and start a blog. I really needed this. I have been on, on, on nonstop for a few months now, trying to stay busy so that my saddness doesn’t take over me. I hate to admit that I do fear the silence most days. I’ve lived that way for a atleast 2 years now. 😦 I’m very tired and I’m looking forward to taking Sundays back. What do you do on Sunday specifically if I may ask? I’d love some ideas 🙂 Thank you again for sharing, you have touched my life in a great way.
Great Post!
Great post. I have thought about this many times and decided to really make sure to take time for myself and as much as I really do love those moments I still find it hard to keep them coming on a regular basis. However, when I do mange to let go of all the obligations and guilty feelings of not doing what “needs to get done” I like to sit still and draw for hours and hours, allowing myself to be creative without the need of being productive. Thank you for sharing your wise thoughts!
[…] to repost it in its entirety below. Enjoy! “No Shame in Stillness” by Jenni from Under the Apricot Tree Today I did something shocking, socially unacceptable and so counter-cultural, it’s […]
This is great. Have you read one minute mindfulness? http://www.amazon.com/One-Minute-Mindfulness-Clarity-Possibilities-Stressed-Out/dp/1608680304/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1319577962&sr=8-1
awesome read, it’s funny because i work so much and blog so much that i never have time to spend with myself. Im always on some social network tweetering my fingers aways and can never put my iphone down and relax just for day but i will try this one day and let you know my results.
Love this. I shared it on my Twitter acount. Thanks!
@AnneMarieDC
Nice post! It made me want to lie down and relax.
Thanks….
http://www.thecameraangle.wordpress.com
this is just amazing, there is no shame in stillness, sometimes its one of the best moments to have, only you and your thoughts, i so loved your way in writing this and for sure i will be trying your way, thank you :-))
We are so pressure to be productive that sometimes we forget how to be joyful. I have a very stressful job, and sitting still in my porch in Jarabacoa on a sunday morning, is the next best thing to staying in bed with my kids!!!
Dear Jenni,
What you have posted here resonates terribly with me. I come from Singapore and the quick pace of life also characterizes our society here! Further, I’ve just begun my first job as a teacher, and Work has really taken up so much more of our time than we would like it to. But it almost seems noble to work yourself to death, especially as someone considered an amateur I suppose, because that’s what is good work ethic.
So thank you for your blog. I found it particularly illuminating that you also spoke of being still and knowing God because I find that I have drifted away from Him during these few months too.
I’m really excited to continue to follow your posts. I’ve always loved the idea of living on a farm, and I love your photographs! Congratulations on the little one, and may you and all your readers continue to find that time to renew our spirits and our lives amidst our busy days. 🙂
[…] No Shame in Stillness Under the Apricot Tree […]
LOVE this post. This is something I struggle with everyday. I find myself sitting still but my mind is still reeling with things I haven’t done and things I need to do. I really like your writing style and the way you word your thoughts 🙂
[…] The Internet. Featured on EcoPressed On the ground with clean power in India Share this:TwitterFacebookEmailLike this:Like456 bloggers like this post. Published: October 18, 2011 Filed Under: […]
Good post! I am a strong believer in quiet, still time. I incorporate it often in my life, and enjoy it. 🙂
[…] Across The Internet. Featured on EcoPressed Climate Change: We are also the 99% Share this:TwitterFacebookEmailLike this:Like456 bloggers like this post. Published: October 18, 2011 Filed Under: […]
Jenni, I am so appreciative of this post. I was laid off in January and had a tough time adjusting to the “down” time. I found myself filling my days with “stuff” just to feel like I was being “productive”. My husband and I lost a good friend and that was the “aha” moment for me. Our moments on this earth are numbered. The quiet time we make for ourselves, to hear our own thoughts, our own breathing, our own peacefulness is key to how we hear, feel and interact with others. Thank you again for this intuitive post.
staying away from your computer after a certain time sounds good but mine is integral to the media centre and indeed most of the rest of my entertainment. Who knows though because somehow we managed perfectly well before there were such things as computers.
Having no TV or internet at home has forced me to be still, and to be comfortable with the most unnerving thoughts at time. I find that living alone and in silence for the most part has taught me how to not dwell in the negative thoughts, and how to appreciate company that much more.
Thanks for the suggestions you offer, I think that I’m ready to exploit my ‘still’ time to the fullest, and it begins with maybe talking out loud to God.
Question how did you post this and sustain a website with no internet at home? Just curious. I use to live with no tv and internet long ago.
Jennie,
Thank you so much for such an inspiring post! I, too, relish the moments that I can have just for me.
One of the things I love to do for quiet time is visit a local park in my city, not too far from my office. I have a season pass, so I go just about every day. There’s a bench that sits under a tree, and right if front of it is the lake. Lately, it’s been so beautiful here, and when the sun shines on the water, it sparkles like diamonds against black velvet under moving light. I always take my bible with me and read a scripture or two to remind me of God’s presence and His love for me. Sometimes I’ll utter quiet prayers and find His peace and wisdom filling my heart. But, mostly I just sit in silence and watch as nature moves around me, undisturbed by my being there. I love to just watch God run the world; just to be still and know.
Another way I spend quiet time is taking long soaks in scented bubble baths late at night with quiet music playing. One of my favorite cd’s is one I have of Chris Botti, “When I Fall In Love.” If you’ve not heard it, I highly recommend it. In those moments, I am reminded of the gift of love my husband and I share, and I am calmed by that and can sleep more peacefully.
Once again, thank you for sharing with us, and congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
Blessings,
Renee
YES!
This is beautifully written with a strong message.
A couple years ago my mom told me, “I never see you but you’re listing a hundred things you think you need to do.” That took me by surprise, and I realized that not only was I robbing myself but I was also robbing those around me from my complete presence when I was with them. I wasn’t listening or allowing us to enjoy our time together because I was stressting about my list of things to do.
Loved seeing this post and your acknowledgement of God’s presence.
This is so poignant and wise, I’m glad I landed here today. I struggle in my meditation and silent times, it’s the plague of having a brain that never shuts off, but those rare moments when I achieve it are worth every moment of struggle.
I once tried meditation and I never got the hang of it, but it sounds like a great way to do stuff just like this. I just want to say that this is a great way to really get in depth with your personal self and it has really helped me with my writing as a teenage girl, which is on my blog…
http://followmyfootstep.wordpress.com/
thanks for inspiring me
this post is very timely. i did my meditation a week ago and it was wonderful. if you let God talk to you, he actually will. 🙂
Hey Jenni! Nice post! I couldn’t help but be reminded of Transcendental Meditation while reading this. Transcendental Meditation (TM), is my form of sitting comfortably for 20 minutes twice a day. I think you would find TM very interesting. Check the ‘Transcendental Meditation’ page out on my blog and/or google it! It’s truly amazing and such a gift that everyone should have. All the best to you always!
Thank you 🙂
I love your blog.. and isn’t so true of life…we just need to put our feet up at times…I have a writing/poetry blog through wordpress. I live in Queensland Australia and am a Secondary School teacher of English and History.I have three children…my youngest one is in her last year of high school. I love to write when I have the time…my blog is
ngaiotree.wordpress.com.
Please visit it and let me know what you think
MMM! for some reason you were sent my friend’s email. All sorted now.
Anne-Marie
As I was trying to say before….all one needs to do is put ones feet up…and inspiration happens.
I am a secondary school teacher in Queensland Australia, teaching English and History. My youngest daughter is just about to finish high school. As you can imagine I am very busy, but do manage to write on my blog via wordpress. Please visit it and let me know what you think.
ngaiotree.wordpress.com
Anne-Marie
Yeah, these days, we tends to not feel the nature around us.. I sense the nature as a remedy for me and absolutely for anyone.. 🙂
I think I can say I’m similar to “davesymer” who posted above, in that I too do “nothing” more than anyone else I know. Being a college student, I find that everyone is always wanting to do something or go somewhere after class. I’ve never mentioned it to anyone, but I’m tired of always having to do something. Being active is all well and good, but I agree that we need to practice a little more stillness in our culture.
I find that taking a a walk along the wooded trail near home is the best “me” time I can reward myself with. Just listening to the sounds of nature takes my mind away from the nuttiness of life.
This post was a great end to my day! I had just spoken with a friend about my new job, and how I had considered pushing towards a different option that paid more. But as I was sitting there talking with her, I said “You know, I’d like to just celebrate this part of life right now. So I’m getting paid dirt? The positives are that I love the job, I have a great (cheap) living situation, I get to work in my PJs once a week, and I’m learning new skills’. Sometimes it’s important to just -enjoy- instead of take the victory as “one step closer to the next better thing”. I think our society has also forgotten this.
Thank you.
I randomly stumbled on your blog!! I just wanted to say thank you so much!! Your writing is very inspiring and it’s so refreshing and encouraging!! Keep seeking the Lord’s face!!
Thank You for reminding me. =)
Great advice! There really is no shame in stillness. I try to lie down in silence for at least 5 minutes everyday, it’s said to be a great stress reliever.
Ah… stillness… something few take the time to enjoy. Bravo- fantastic post!
One thing I like to do is turn my phone OFF at least one night a week. Sometimes I get cell phone burnout and I don’t want to talk with anyone. So, when that happens, I turn both cell phones (one for work, the other personal) completely off. Not ringer…the whole device! If people need to reach me, they will email. But what I find is that people don’t miss me as NEARLY as much as I thought they would 🙂
stillness most of time is a kind of attitude to life and work.
Great post! You know research has shown that our moments of greatest inspiration come when our hearts and minds are still. That’s when the Holy Spirit speaks but that’s also when creative genius is made manifest.
Will take some time to be still today!
I like this. I’ve been living the “stillness” lifestyle for years…I call it the “joys of irresponsibility.” Maybe I’m just a professional lazy person but it works for me.
We have a porch swing and it is part of my therapy. We have spent the last 18years on that swing and discovered things about ourselves that a $200 hr therapist would never tell.
I have been learning this principle over the last few years. My natural tendency is to be achievement driven, but that leads to lots of stress and busyness. I am learning to live slower, accomplish less, and feel more satisfied deep in my soul. Less stress is definitely better overall and leads to more creativity and enjoyment in life!
Wonderful post. I love being still too. I think it’s mostly because of my overactive imagination though, but you’re definitely right, I too am constantly torn between filling my day with things to do and wanting to take a break and just “enjoy the show,” so to speak.
Nice post and good insight. It is something like observing the observer.
We all need to spend some “me time” once in a while. Its how we rejuvenate ourselves and find our own inner rhythm. For me, this is done by taking a walk and just letting my mind wander. Its a great way to clear one’s mind of burden.
Taking time out for stillness, silence and reflection is crucial, and allows you to participate in life more fully. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
More often than not, life is what happens behind our backs, as we fret about the perils of the past or forecast the non-existent future. Life is what happens when we stand still.
Inspiring, thought-provoking post – thank you for sharing 🙂
This post is so timely for me. I have been eating at my desk and taking my work home to bed with me of late… still managing to bake the bread buts its rushed, last minute, and at 11.30 at night. Its so lovely to be reminded and encouraged to stop and slow down and breath… and thats ok… life might even be better. Big happy sigh… thank you!
Great article, I totally agree!
I’ve found what helps me to calm down is a nice, long walk in the woods. Or even better, go to the woods, bring a book, sit down on a tree stump and read. It’s amazing how relaxing it is!
I surely do appreciate what I read as I skim this. I think I’ll read it more carefully later. I’m coming to realize that stillness and rest are more important for me now than they seemed to be a few years ago. I’m just not very good at enacting (terrible choice of words!) them yet. Still trying.!
Although Sabbath is no law for Christians as it was/is for Jews, I think the *principle* applies well to pretty much everyone, regardless of faith or lack of it, and I’m glad for this reminder.
Should anyone be interested, I once blogged an outcry against a forced Sabbath schedule, and this post of mine is referenced here. I do support the principle, although I spent much of this particular post lashing out against rigid rules. 🙂 Or, in contrast, here’s a shorter post that simply supports the simple principle: http://blcasey.wordpress.com/2009/12/23/the-sabbath-in-principle/
I couldn’t agree more. The new motto of UNSW is never “Never Stand Still” – which I find deplorable. As an artist, I’m happy to spend half an hour looking at a single painting. There is peace in stillness.
AS a mother of 3 who works fulltime and tries to fit in all my hobbies it’s hard to relax. But as soon as I took the time to make meditiation a daily activity it has allowed to feel calm and actually deal with the day they way were meant to.
I like to suggestion of getting off the computer by 9, sometimes it’s so hard to shut everything down but if you don’t aren’t hurting yourself?
Great post!
[…] Yesterday I came across a great blog that reminded me of the importance of sitting in silence. You can find it here. […]
Thank you, Jenni, for giving me a wonderful meditation for today! I too have learned to relish the stillness, and I feel so bewildered by people, including many friends, who feel they have to be busy all the time. Just taking a walk without my smartphone, or driving without putting on the radio, somehow restores me. My biggest luxury is “puttering time,” and I make sure to schedule it in.
Thank you for the beautiful post about stillness. In our case, we make it a top priority to place stillness in our weekly routine. The Sabbath practice you have suggested have worked with us well for the past two years. Spending time in reflection and communion with the Almighty always brings us great calm and rejuvenates us fully (mind, body, and spirit).
The first few months committing with the practice involved great effort for us but seeing its positive results, we continued and stayed in the practice satisfied…:)
Wow..I couldn’t of come across your blog at a better time! It is a rough and rocky time but through this …sit and be still is EXACTLY what the Lord has commanded me to do. Despite my internal desire and itch to do the opposite…He is training me and molding me to grow in HIM…it’s hard but refreshing to read your post and gain further insight into the joys of being still!
I do what you do! sit back relax. Stillness brings calmness to the mind and peace to the heart. That is what I believe!
Jenni, i know what you mean…so often our success is measured by how much we can get done–we want to fill each vacant minute. Your post made me want to sit in the porch more often. And yes, zoning in on yourself when standing in line at the bank is something I would never have thought about.
I’m a married senior in college and sometimes, I come home from class, fall face first onto the bed, and close my eyes. I rarely actually nap, but my husband will sometimes come in and ask if I’m OK. After an almost inaudible “yes”, he turns out the light and shuts the door. I emerge 30 minutes to an hour later feeling completely refreshed. It is a great time to sort out thoughts, take “inventory” of all the things I’ve shoved into my brain over the last few days.
Also, I don’t know if you are a Christian, but I am and I always recall that God took a day of rest after creating the world. He instructed us to work and then to rest–that means rest definitely IS necessary for the human life!
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For me what keeps me still is thinking about engineering. I’m an engineer, so when I start thinking of fluid mechanics, or physics, or chemistry, or anything like that my brain goes into overdrive but oddly I calm down. I notice more things when I’m in my “engineering mode.”
One thing I wanted to mention: I think that being “lazy” has some level of acceptance in modern society and as evidence I present “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars. It was quite popular for a while and is related to your post, though I think there are differences as well. I personally think that busy-ness is promoted by a vocal minority of Type A personalities while Type B personalities such as yourself in this post are not as loud. Probably because you’re being so still!
Oh, and please don’t misunderstand… I thoroughly enjoyed your post!
I like your post and your inspiration for the title of your blog. Both stillness and solitude seem to be taboo. We need constant stimulation and interaction and taking time-out from either results, many times, in odd reactions from others.
http://www.saracardoza.wordpress.com
I loved this – as a mother of three I often feel pressure to keep up with all other families and do exactly what they do. I feel guilty b/c my kids aren’t enrolled in six programs each and we aren’t running around like crazy. I homeschool and some days we just put away the books and relax with each other in our p.j.’s – then I hear about how another homeschool mom crammed in three weeks of work in one week with her kids and in comes the guilt again. Great reminder that it’s okay and good to just be sometimes. Thanks.
I put my feet up on the porch rail, leaned back in a deep chair, and sat in the afternoon sunshine for a while, accomplishing absolutely nothing… In doing this ‘nothing’ we tend to find ourselves. The journey towards inside is rich, and opens the windows we have sacrificed for windows xp and other stuff.
I loved this post. I really need to apply this into my life. My body is in a state of trying to heal and I’m not allowing it to because I’m too stubborn to be still.
I think it’s all about finding peace AND happiness in being still. Not forcing yourself to do something that feels wonky, and making it another checklist item or chore, but also allowing yourself that time–and not feeling guilty about it.
Great post. I always try and make time to just lay back and do nothing; just me and my thoughts…
I have just found your blog and im loving it. The world definitely runs too fast most of the time. Taking time to enjoy IS life! We work to finance the good life. quiet, kids playing, mud pies, baby drool, a crazy dinner with family. that is real life.
SO encouraging! I am definitely going to try and shut my computer off at 9 every night.
Mindfulness is wonderful! Thanks for the great post!
What an encouraging and poignant post. I think as you put it, ‘stillness’ is so important. We all need time to unwind and reflect. I firmly believe that it allows us the chance to be thoughtful about life and therefore we make better choices and react better to situations that arise.
I’m so glad I stumbled upon here today.
Best!
[…] No Shame in Stillness. […]
I’ve just come across your blog and read the ‘about page’.I love the context! A bold and brave move on your behalf! Over a year ago I made the decision to walk away from a hectic career in media to concentrate on my real love, music. It took me 6 months to unwind and learn to appreciate stillness, to feel calm in the quiet and once again feel secure in who I was not what I did. Only then could I really begin to write again. Now I can’t imagine life with many moments of stillness, but so many live without it, with no idea of the power it holds. I think your new life sounds bliss and it’s wonderful that you are sharing your learnings – I’m looking forward to reading many more stories about your journey!
Jenni, this is wonderful advice and insight. I think it’s so hard to just let go and release yourself to the moment! Thanks for this post; it’s definitely going to help me increase times of “stillness” in my life.
Me, I find stillness in a dim lit area, whether a park or bus stop, and just write everything. It feels relaxing for me to write my reflections. I talk to myself and to God thru pen and paper. That is how I spend my solo time, as how I call it.
So very, very true. I took five minutes to sit and stretch, and listen to the wind rustling the leaves, the people murmuring as they walked up the hill by my window. It was, lovely. So thank you. I feel far more up to the numerous essays I have due.
I have found that what helps me to be still, is to go to a bench on my campus that is under a tree and at the top of a slope, and just sit there, listening (as it is far away from roads or heavy foot traffic) and feel myself forgetting everything. To just be in the solace of the moment. The biggest challenge that I have found is that of time, as I always have assignments due, thus the time constraints stress me out. But, every Sunday, I am on the bench for an hour.
I find that I have a problem relaxing entirely though, as no matter how I try to relax, I know that I have only five or so minutes in which to relax. Do you have any ideas on that? Or will that pass as I do it more often?
Glad to hear that you took a few minutes to be still today! Your bench on campus sounds like a peaceful retreat and the more you go there to relax and focus the more your body, mind and spirit will recognize it as the space for relaxing. I’m not an expert, but I have found that it’s like any practice–the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Keep at it, it’s worth it (and you’re worth it)!
Some months back, I went into the office of one of my co-workers to fetch some supply or another, and spotted a post-it on his bulletin board that simply said: “cultivate stillness”. I loved this so much that when I got home that day I got out my own post-it, wrote the same message for myself, and stuck it to my wall. Whenever I walk past that part of my home, I am reminded to take a moment once in a while to just take in my world, to live in the here and now.
I love, love, love this post you wrote. I am bookmarking it for re-reading later. I think you really hit onto something when you said modern American women tend to feel pressured to measure our worth in productivity. We need to let go of this idea, and learn to embrace the value of allowing ourselves to breathe and just be. Thank you.
Love the topic and very well written. I couldn’t have said it any better. I treasure the idea of silence, but like you mentioned, time is more often occupied with the busyness of the next time filler. I especially enjoyed the suggestions. I think I’ll take a few and practice them. Baby steps! Thanks for sharing!
Hi Jenni,
I absolutely loved your post! It reminded me of one of my blogs called ‘I am number one’ Please follow it as I find it does relate in some ways. What you said about connecting to ourselves first in order to be able to connect with others reminded me of what I said about putting our own joy first in order to be able to be there for others.
I strongly believe in stillness and taking a break, just lying in the sunshine, thinking or not thinking and just breathing. I do that a lot these days and what I find most helpful for me is to write in a journal to vent all my thoughts and detach from everything I’ve written about so I can relax. I also like to sit by the beach and admire the sea, the waves, the sand, nature, the sounds of birds because that keeps me calm and relaxed. What I find challenging in giving that space to myself is being too occupied with routine such as work and making time for friends and family events as well. I do always, where I can, make room to give myself that stillness in order to keep sane.
Thank you so much for writing about something I so strongly believe in. You are an inspiration!
Beautifully written!
[…] here is a thoughtful post on the importance of being still, for calm and for introspection and […]
[…] here is a thoughtful post on the importance of being still, for calm and for introspection and […]
All great reminders. Thanks for the post!
I just found your post through thismummaslife and I love it. I just started a blog at the beginning of November for NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) called Quiet MOM-ents. I’ve been taking 30 minutes each morning to be still (pray, meditate, sit in silence) to see how this will infuse the rest of my day and my family. It IS working. So I applaud your moment of stillness!
Dear Jeni,
I absolutely loved your blog post; unfortunately sitting down with nothing to do but just enjoy myself is something that I rarely get to participate in. I am a student at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville and let’s just say that the life of a college student is plenty busy. I often feel like the only time that I really have to myself is at the end of my day when I eventually lay down to go to sleep. Balancing school, work and a social life is often hard to do at times, but after reading your post I decided that I absolutely need to set time out of my day to relax and unwind. I really liked the fact that you mentioned various ways that you can try to relax. I found out after reading you tips that, I thought I was doing things for myself when really I was still distracted and multitasking. I have started jogging a new trail around campus when I have free time and normally when I do exercise, I have my iPod with me but I have found that it is much more relaxing leaving the iPod at home. I don’t have to focus on what song is playing, how loud it is, or maybe what song is coming next. Instead, I get to hear the crunch of the leaves beneath my feet and the sound of my breath. Thank you so much for sharing your insight, I really appreciated it and it has definitely affected my day-to-day life.
Ellie
Ellie, I’m glad to know this post is a catalyst of change for you! I remember how busy college life was, with endless opportunities for fun and work competing for your time. I began running in college and found it to be a great stress reliever and mind-clearer. Keep creating and protecting those quiet times to yourself. You are worth it. And it’s especially important during your life stage, when you are processing so many ideas and choosing a life path for yourself.
Jenni
Hello, this is a nice post. You get my vote for No Shame in Stillness Under the Apricot Tree and also I am going to bookmark your blog right now.
[…] summed up my own thoughts before I could do it myself; I hope you will read her words– https://undertheapricottree.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/no-shame-in-stillness/ Share this:TwitterFacebookMoreEmailPrintLinkedInLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]
[…] No Shame in Stillness. […]
Excellent post. “Be still and know that I am God.”
Too many people are busy, busy, busy running away from God under the guise of physical productivity. The Lord can speak to a stilled heart, not to a busy mind.
God’s Grandeur
By Gerard Manley Hopkins
THE WORLD is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod; 5
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.
And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things; 10
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs—
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.
[…] and focus on the important things. One of my favorite posts that I have ever read on this topic No Shame in Stillness by Jenni from Under the Apricot Tree. After reading it, I decided that I wanted to be still, […]